10,000 Days and Nightmares Before Christmas

I was at a Christmas party and I met this lovely lady. Her eyes were so pretty and her hair was in an attractive bun. She wore a nice shirt and shorts which showed off her feminine curves in a reserved way. At first we introduced ourselves. I said “Hi! I’m Karl.” And she replied “Hi! I’m Karen” as we smiled at each other with a gleam in our eyes.

We talked. And talked some more. Our conversation was really good because we both had the same interests. We talked about how cool it was to start the Tool's "10.000 Days" music CD as soon as you hit "play" for the actual movie on Tim Burton's animation "The Nightmare Before Christmas".

When a nice dance song started playing, Karen and I looked into each other’s eyes with excitement. I asked her if she would like to dance and she smiled “I’d love to dance with you!”

We had so much fun dancing. When the song was over, she went to share her excitement with her friends and I went over and got us some beer from the keg. There was only one cup left and I offered it to Karen when we got back together. After drinking from the cup, she lifted the cup to my lips. We were drinking from the same cup. We were practically kissing.

Then another really groovy dance song came on and we both went out on the dance floor. Some of the other dancing couples started interweaving their legs and rubing groins. Yes it was one of those Christmas Parties. And Karen mounted my leg. We took turns rubbing our groins on each other like all the other loving couples. We were so very enjoying this new dirty dance style. We were all smiles in our shared embarrassment and our new found intimacy.

After the song was over, Karen went back to her friends to share in her excitement and I went to get us more to drink. That is when I was picked off my feet and carried out of the party. The people, I had come to the party with, shoved me in the car.

To this day I do not know why I was carried off. Was it because Karen was a black woman and I was a white man. Or was it that the black people at the party were going to kick my ass for dancing with Karen. Or was it that the white people I was with, wanted to kick my ass for mingling with a Karen.

The people I was with, carried me off and then hot tailed our car out of the parking lot. Karen ran out into the parking lot yelling “Karl! Where are you Karl?” I was in the car with tears in my eyes as we sped off. I hurt inside for letting myself be torn away. I still kick myself today. I never hung out again with the guys who carried me off.

The dream makes me sad to this day. But the dream has a second part.

About a week or two later, just before Christmas, I was at the park with a group of carollers. I had not shaved so I could make the meeting on time and my hair was messy because I had ridden my bicycle there on that windy day.

After caroling, I had wandered off alone. That is when Karen rode up on her bicycle and dismounted were I stood. She was as beautiful as ever in her new red Addidis Sweats and there I was in my wrinkled old green Addidis Sweats. I excitedly exclaimed, “Hi Karen!” and she replied “Hi Karl.” and she kept walking.

At this point I do not know what hurt more. The fact that I did not walk after her to catch up with her to talk with her and exchange phone numbers. Or the fact that she walked away. Who could blame her. There was no such thing as interracial dating back then and besides, I looked all skuzzy with my long uncombed hair, wrinkled old green Addidis sweats, and dusty shoes. Or maybe she was in a hurry to get some last minute Christmas Shopping done.

Either way, I just stood there in a daze as I admired Karen in her red Addidis Sweats. She looked so good. So Christmas Season! When I realized I had missed my second and last opportunity to meet Karen, I felt like crying. I felt like crying a long time.

My heart cries every time I have the dream. It is amazing how empty you can feel in a dream.